16 women had a rendezvous in Khoracle to labor on empowering and uplifting themselves. This is the end result of that rendezvous.
Annie Foo and I (Padma Menon) felt very strongly that many women were living with unsolved problems, issues that were causing disharmony within themselves and the family. We were very concerned watching the number of women coming to Khoracle with this disharmony. Thus, we decided to organize A "Women’s only" session on May first.
After a short introduction by each of us, we asked each Goddess to speak her mind, whatever was on her mind at that moment, why she had came for the session and what she expected. Many issues such as acceptance of the self, identifying oneself, early childhood trauma, disillusion and other minor issues were voiced. An amazing aspect that was spoken on by quite a few was on the balance between the male and female energies – commonly known as the yin and the yang. It was interesting to note that so many women were just concentrating on the male aspect because of the work environment. They were competing with the males and were absorbing the yang energy more. I was taken aback when they said they cut their hair short (the dear ones forgot that the crowning glory is one of the most prominent feminine features), wore pants, and forgot about make-up, perfume and many of the other feminine stuff.
Their lifestyle helped obscure them from being in touch with their female energy. Of course there would have been imbalance in their lives and problems would have set in slowly but surely. Is this what society makes of women? Is this what society needs? Or is it just that women are forgetting their role? Whatever each of these women’s reasoning was, I feel this issue has to be addressed NOW. All women have to take stock, please pause and think, you are doing all this at the expense of what? Is it not at the expense of your own self and, in turn, your family and the society?
Women, be proud to be a woman, thank the Divine for making you a woman. Remember we have a very important role to play – being a Mother. The mother is the essence of the society not only now but since time immemorial. Women are the cement that keeps the family together and her love lasts a lifetime. A woman makes or breaks the family. That much power we have. So you do not need to imitate anyone? Please just be yourself.
After a short break, we embarked on a discussion focused on one issue - “Self Love”. Annie and I felt many of them were astounded when it came to answering the question “Do you love yourself?” Many think this is sacrilegious and most outrageous. No, my friends, I think this is the most fundamental and important issue in our lives. Please remember feelings or love towards other people is largely determined by the feelings or love towards your own self. We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by others but we can’t accept and love ourselves. Is this not a paradox we have to solve first, isn’t this of prime importance, isn’t this what life is all about?
‘If we could learn to like ourselves even a little, may be our cruelties and angers might melt away’ - J. Steinbeck
The response from the ladies on “Love thy self”?
Another setback is fear. Many of us are afraid to be ourselves, we want to be what society wants of us, and we live for others. This beautiful Goddess is big built with a buxom body. Thus she always wore big, baggy clothes to camouflage her assets. She also hunched and slouched. Of course she felt very miserable, as she could not wear the entire figure hugging clothes. She was afraid of the stares that would deem her as a queer. One day she asked herself why was she doing all this, what was she afraid of? She discarded the notion, and begun seeing herself in a new light, love and acceptance. She now walks with her head held high, with pride. Bravo to you, my dear! She loves herself for what she is, and for how she looks. She is not manipulating the power she has to exchange for anything except to love her self.
Most, if not all, Masters expound the belief of looking within ourselves, to delve within and to perceive answers we search. We did probe on this and concluded that to love oneself it has to come from within. We can’t look to the outside world. Similarly, change must come from one’s self; do not expect others to change for you must be the change. We have to feed the soul and only then there will be inner peace. “When you are aligned inside, everything externally will be aligned automatically.”
We have to remember we can never change the past but we can always change the attitude towards it. So start working on that, instead of groaning and moaning on how things should have been, could have been. STOP complaining and comparing! The past is over; it is nothing but a fading memory that helps you to learn whatever you can from it. The future is yet to come, do not delve on the past too much; the present and the now should be one’s focus. Look at it, analyse it, work on it with the intent of improving it.
Affirmations were next on the agenda. Many felt this was very beneficial, empowering and uplifting. We felt affirmations helped boost one’s self-confidence and self-love. These are some affirmations which most of us felt did well:
1. I love you …….(your name )
2. I am proud of you
3. I am happy
4. I am well endowed
5. I am beautiful
6. I thank the Divine for all this.
7. Don’t forget to hug yourself daily.
Positive affirmations can go on and on. Please don’t be “kiasu” (an Asian slang for “afraid to lose”) and keep saying more than 20 affirmations. Just two or three affirmations are more than enough. But do remember the most important is “I love you”.
Just try this every morning, standing in front of the mirror, looking you in the eye and saying any of the affirmations. Believe me a smile will light up your face, you will feel great, your confidence level will surge up, and you will feel just good, good and good. Please do appreciate what you have, look at yourself from top to bottom and start appreciating even the smallest iota of good in you.
It was identified, that many of us have a false persona; we portray ourselves as someone in our working place and another person at home. Why do we do this? To please others, of course. This charade will drain us and we become tired of life and ourselves. So we have to put a stop to this.
Do what is best for you, just please yourself. As one of the Goddesses said she sets her own boundaries now that she has come to self realization and amazingly enough people have come to respect her for this. If she feels like having a meal alone, she does. She is no more afraid of stares or hurting remarks. “Who cares? “ She says. She is not forced to do things because “they” approve it. She has begun to love herself and to think that she is important to herself; with this she says she has begun to see the best in others. Remember when you are judgmental you are actually judging yourself.
It was brought to our attention that our body is a temple and the Divine spirit dwells in it. Thus it is our paramount duty to take care of it, to love it and respect it. If a mistake is made, be kind to yourself and forgive yourself wholeheartedly. Be the person you want to be, be kind to yourself, not critical and, be your best friend. Do not waste time lamenting and complaining.
Some felt if they loved them selves, they should not overeat, as the extra food is not good for them. If I love myself I must only eat what is good for me. Others felt if I love myself why can’t I treat myself once in a way? A little chunk of chocolate is only going to give me some pleasure. Do whatever you feel is right. At the end of the day it is YOU. Once you have established this strong, vibrant rapport with yourself, you will receive the correct answers from the Divine Universe.
Love yourself, pamper yourself, accept yourself but do not indulge in ruining your self or abusing yourself. YOU can never enjoy peace and inner security without first acknowledging all the good things in life. If you are forever wanting and longing for more without first appreciating things the way they are, you will stay in discord. (Dr. S. Chidre and Howard Martin)
Thus, ended our first session. I think most of us felt it was a good session. I strongly have to think on this line as we have decided to meet on the first Sunday of each month. Our next meeting will be on 1st of June. I think quite a number felt relieved to have poured out some of the unnecessary baggage they had been carrying for so many years; others felt “ Oh there is someone else having the same issues, problems, I am not alone” This thought, believe me is gratifying to many homo sapiens. I again think it was a success as all of us felt we should decide on a name for the circle. If something was not important surely you would not want to give it a name? By the next session we will definitely have a name; as a multitude have been suggested.
I hope to prepare a Daily Journal for the ladies by the next session. I hope this will enhance their empowerment and give them a lift. God willing we will finish with this group and start with another. Divine blessings to all
Our motto will be
We are one in mind
We are one in heart
We are one in love
We are one in light
Peace, love and light
Padma Menon
For women out there who wish to know more about Padma & her 'Women's Only' group, please email us at myspiritualvillage@gmail.com for more information.
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