There is a saying that one parent can look after four children but four children can’t look after one parent.
There is, however, often that one child who remains devoted and goes the extra mile in honouring and supporting their parent/s.
For such children, while they may at times feel burdened and stressed, nothing is ever too much. This is the child who continues to give financial support when the other siblings, who may have greater resources, never seem to have enough to “come to the party”.
The reluctant siblings will use excuses like the accusation that they were never favoured by their parent and so why should they feel any gratitude or obligation to reciprocate anything that their parent did for them?
This child will eventually stop exhorting the others to take responsibility for the vulnerable parent/s and just accept that being the almost sole supporter is their lot. This child sees it as a welcome opportunity to give back for all of the sacrifices that the parent/s made for the years of the child growing up in their house. Even if they did not feel particularly well taken care of by their parent/s, he or she will feel that it is just the decent and honourable way to behave in the circumstances.
The party that the other siblings never fail to attend is the one after the parent’s funeral when it comes to the matter of claiming their portion of the parent’s possessions. At this juncture each child will use the same story line to justify why they deserve the best and the lion’s share of what the parent/s left.
The child who looked after the parent will surprisingly be the most quiet, having felt so enriched by the opportunity to care for the parent/s.
The real issue here is not about who has the valid argument or who is guilty or innocent. It is a story about who the givers are and who the takers are. In spiritual tradition , materialism is compared to sea water, the more you take of it the more you crave.
Givers always feel full and sufficient, if not blessed by abundance. Takers live in constant scarcity, never filled, no matter how much they have.
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