Feeling worn out, stressed and, although it might pain you to admit it, a little out of control? These days we all seem to spend our lives running from A to B, cramming in as much as possible and it's easy to get worn out in the process.
Energy management expert Alyssa Abbey claims that by identifying the major stresses in your life and making small changes, you can vastly lower stress levels and increase your energy. Her new book, Stop Making Excuses And Start Living With Energy, is full of common sense advice about how to do just that. Here are some of her top suggestions.
1. Identify the problems
Sit down and try to figure out what specific things, situations or people are contributing to your lack of energy.
It can be anything from a tense working environment, to doing banal chores, or socialising with people who drain you.
Abbey points out that once you identify the problems, a few simple changes can really help. "Sometimes it can be an easy switch, such as changing your working hours or the way you do your food shopping but often, especially where people are concerned, it's a case of finding something that works for you," she explains, adding that you must aim for the right balance of mental, emotional, spiritual and physical energy.
"There is no one formula for building and sustaining these energy currencies," she says. "Each of us must find workable and enjoyable ways of maintaining energy and vitality."
2. Banish 'Mental Gremlins'
"Limiting beliefs are fears and ego-driven thoughts that I call Mental Gremlins," says the author. First believe that you have the ability to banish negative thoughts and then put it into practise.
Mind your language; for example, if you constantly tell yourself you are useless at everything, you must replace that thought with something positive every time if pops into your head. Otherwise you will be useless at everything.
3. Accept that you are only in control of yourself
We all spend a lot of time trying to control events, people and situations.
Instead of wasting your time, focus on controlling yourself and your reactions.
For example, instead of blaming another person for 'making you angry', realise that you have a choice in how you react to that person.
Take responsibility for yourself and watch the results.
4. Spend time with people who energise you
This doesn't mean that you have to cut off your lifelong friend or members of your family because they are, at the moment, draining you emotionally.
It simply means that you should be aware that some people are more demanding that others.
"You can't shut out family or colleagues when they annoy you, but you can find ways of limiting your time with certain people, or explaining how you're feeling. Tackling these issues will give your energy a major boost," says Abbey.
It is important to look after yourself too when you're in a caring situation. "If you're helping a friend who is ill or unhappy, make sure you also take care of yourself."
5. Stop procrastinating
The laundry is building up in a corner of the kitchen, the grass needs cutting and you can't remember the last time you cleaned out the fridge.
And instead of tackling each chore one at a time, you're sitting around stressing about them. Sounds familiar? You need to get moving says the author. "Often, just thinking about what you have to do is draining. But once you get on with the job itself, it often doesn't take that long."
Visualise yourself doing the task in hand. If you've got too much on your plate, don't be afraid to ask for help. Organisation and de-cluttering can free up your energy, giving you more time to concentrate on what really matters.
6. Stop trying to be perfect and prioritise
Let's face it, nobody can do it all, so stop trying. Analyse what you can do and set realistic goals for yourself.
7. Work to live, don't live to work
We work longer hours than ever before, but it is important to have a good work/life balance in order to maintain energy levels and reduce stress.
"Start by looking at how many hours you can work, while also staying happy and healthy. If you commit to more than 55 hours a week, think carefully about it."
Take regular breaks in work and always get out of the office at lunchtime. Tackle issues with your colleagues head-on.
"Often we stay quiet to avoid conflict or opening a can of worms, but in the long run these feelings can be draining."
8. Exercise, eat well and get lots of sleep
These are things we know we should do, but we often let them lapse due to stress. The irony is that by improving all three we make ourselves more able to cope. They are the building blocks of our life and should not be neglected. Take active steps to make sure you value your health.
9. Accept that family life is fraught with difficulty
There will always be conflicts within your family, no matter how much you love them.
"With immediate family, you need to make your journey through life fun," says the author. "If there is something bothering you, talk about it. Don't use guilt trips and don't manipulate family members into doing things."
10. Make time for recreation
Recreation is always extremely beneficial, no matter what the circumstances.
"Whether you join an evening course, an exercise class, or take up bird watching -- anything that develops your learning or that interests you can be energising," she says. No matter how much you have on your plate, make time for relaxation and fun. Try to have something to look forward to at all times.
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