Cultivating Happiness In Everyday Life

By Carol Weiss, MA

In PNW Local News

For 60 years the model used for psychology and psychotherapy was a disease model. It asked: What’s wrong with me? Some positive outcomes came from the disease model: a science of classifiable mental illnesses was developed; previously non-treatable illnesses became treatable or sometimes curable; drug and psychological treatments were designed and tested; miserable people became less miserable. There are also costs to this model. Sufferers of mental illness can feel they are victims of their pathology. The disease model forgot the improvement of quality of life for normal and high talent people.

In 2005 Martin Seligman opened the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania. He asks: Can psychology make us happier? Positive psychologists believe that psychology and psychotherapy should be as concerned with strength as with weakness and as interested in building the best things in life as repairing the worst. Seligman believes that the skills of happiness are different than the skills that relieve misery and that normal and high talent people deserve help in achieving and nurturing happiness. The science of positive psychology has created ways of measuring happiness (see tests at authentichappiness.org), has classified different types of happiness, and has discovered causality through both brain research and the observation of happy people. This is what they have found:

Three kinds of happy lives

The “Pleasant Life” seeks as much positive emotion as possible and looks for as many pleasurable experiences as possible. Such positive feelings and experiences can be amplified, for example, by savoring them. There are some drawbacks to this kind of happiness. First, it is heritable. About 50 percent of this kind of capacity for happiness is part of one’s genetic make-up. Also, it habituates, which means that it rapidly deteriorates so more and more pleasurable experiences are needed or the pleasure goes flat. Finally, research shows that this type of happiness can only increase by about 15 percent with learnable skills such as seeking and savoring.

The “Good Life” is a life of positive engagement. This form of happiness depends on enjoying one’s work, having a loving partner, family or friends, engaging in leisure and hobbies one enjoys, and feeling a sense of achievement and success in these endeavors. The concept of “flow” is identified with this kind of happiness. When one is engaging in music, a sport, or other endeavor one enjoys, time seems to stand still. This type of happiness can be created by assessing one’s highest strengths and re-crafting one’s life to use these strengths as much as possible. One can re-craft work, relationships, play, or activities to allow full use and enjoyment of one’s strengths.

The “Meaningful Life” involves knowing one’s highest strengths and using them in the service of something larger than oneself. Research shows this to be the deepest and most durable form of happiness. Sometimes it is found in combination with the second type of happiness based in positive engagement, but rarely with the first, which seeks personal pleasure as the highest goal. Meditation and mindfulness practice within one’s own spiritual belief system can aid and enhance our search for this type of happiness. These are teachable, learnable skills.

One can experiment with activities to try out the three kinds of happiness. For the first type, design a beautiful day for yourself. Plan and experience a “perfect” day. Enjoy the good feelings that come and notice how long they last. Positive engagement can be experienced by thinking of someone to whom you are grateful. Write them a letter expressing your gratitude and phone them, or better yet, visit them and read them your letter. Both you and the recipient will find pleasure in this sharing. Finally, become active in a philanthropic endeavor. Donate time, expertise, and love to a person or activity that holds meaning for you. Experience the joy of a life of meaning.

Martin Seligman’s website (www.authentichappiness.org) is an interesting site to browse for self tests and more ideas about positive psychology.

It Makes Good Business Sense To Use Emotions Intelligently

By Kathy Marshack Ph.D., P.S.
In American Chronicle

"She has a sixth sense with her business." "He can always close a deal." "They always make the right investment decisions." Do you envy them? What's the key to their success?

Daniel Goleman, a psychologist, suggests that these differences among people may be due to your EQ, or Emotional Quotient. Research demonstrates that not all success in life is determined by IQ, but may rest more on how perceptive one is with regard to your emotions. Those of us who feel our feelings, interpret them correctly, and then act upon that information, have an advantage over those of us who rely solely on intellect to make decisions.

Among those of you in family firms, a high EQ is vital. Emotions run high in these businesses because of the multiple relationships. For example, it is foolish to ignore that the father-founder may have mixed feelings about a son-employee who is not getting the job done. If the father is unaware of his feelings, (and the son is also unaware), he may have a difficult time transitioning the son to a more suitable position.

Another style seen often in family firms is for the wives and daughters to be the managers of feelings, leaving the men to handle the intellectual facts. Employees know that the wife-/co-owner is the one to seek out when they are having a personal problem. The wife intuitively knows the EQ of the entire company and the husband usually relies on her for counsel. The only problem with this is that two heads are better than one. The husband is sacrificing valuable information if he is not tapping into his own emotional perceptions.

If it's true, as Goleman suggests, that those of us with a high EQ are more successful, how do we develop this side of ourselves? Then, how do we integrate this information with our reason? It appears to be a matter of mastering these three steps: (1) feeling your feelings; (2) interpreting your feelings correctly; (3) acting upon the feeling information.

Because you are a living, breathing human being, you are capable of feelings, both physical and emotional. It doesn't take long to acknowledge those feelings and begin to name them.

Feelings are things like joy, irritation, hunger, fatigue, boredom, confusion, pain, anticipation, pride, embarrassment, tension, and so on. The list is endless and I often advise my clients to get a thesaurus or dictionary and copy down as many "feeling" words as they can find. It is important to refine your repertoire of feelings and feeling words so that you can expand your consciousness about your EQ.

It is also important to remember that you always feel your feelings first. Because of how you are "wired" thoughts or interpretations come after feelings. So it is useful to notice those feelings consciously before your conscious mind decides to ignore them or misinterpret them.


The second step is interpreting those feelings that you have just noticed which is no easy feat. The key element here is to realize that feelings are basically neutral. That is, they are neither good nor bad; they are just feedback. For example, if you haven't eaten for several hours, you will feel hungry. At first the feeling isn't unpleasant, but if you don't eat for days, hunger can be painful. The feeling of hunger is a message that you need to attend to your body by feeding it. But the hunger pangs should not be interpreted as punishment, just because they are unpleasant.

Anger is another example. Anger may feel unpleasant to you and therefore, something to suppress. However, the feeling of anger is neither good nor bad; it is just feedback about something that is important for you to know. Try to view all of your feelings that way. They are feedback in feeling-form about your environment. One person may be triggered to feel angry about something, while another may be triggered to laugh. Feelings are your characteristic way of sensing your environment.

This brings us to step three, acting upon the information you have interpreted from your feelings. In the case of hunger or fatigue, a decision is relatively simple to satisfy those basic needs. But decision-making is more complex when the feelings are part of a financial plan for your business, or whether to fire an employee. This is where EQ really helps. Those individuals who have trusted their EQ throughout childhood and have refined and developed those skills into adult life, are in a much better position to make successful decisions.

While there is nothing like practice and life experience, here are a few basic tips to improve your decision making by including relevant feeling information:

1. Always checkout your feelings before making any decision.

2. Inquire after another's feelings before proceeding to decision making.

3. Check your feelings again after arriving at the decision.

4. Remember that "feeling good" about something doesn't always mean that the decision is correct.

5. Be willing to acknowledge that you are afraid or angry or confused. Hiding these feelings from yourself may deny you powerful and necessary information.

Many of you know those successful people who seem always to be in the right place at the right time. They aren't really any smarter than you are, but probably they trust an "inner knowing" based upon using all of the resources available to them, emotional, mental, physical and even spiritual.

The Language of Silence

By Gwen Randall-Young
In Common Ground

Universe Within

More than ever before, people seem to be searching for the way to “be” in this world. The power of the internet allows for large shifts in human consciousness, as millions of people are exposed to the same ideas and perspectives at the same time.

While the internet has certainly sped things up, groups of people subscribing to the same philosophy is not new. Have you noticed, though, that every couple of years a new path seems to enchant the masses? It seems a true shift in consciousness will occur. Within a couple of years or even months, however, that awareness seems to fade and something new comes along, with the hope that maybe this will be the answer.

Humans have been seeking for a long time and if there was an answer out there, we would have found it by now. It is the thinking mind that tries to figure it all out. The answers, however, are not “out there” and it is not the thinking mind that would lead us to them. The thinking mind rearranges ideas, which are the products of our own minds or the minds of others. It is basically our word processing program and it has limitations – the major one being language itself.

Think of the vastness of the universe and picture a tiny blue planet somewhere in the midst of it all. Humans have developed a way to communicate with each other and even speculate about things beyond our little world. Yet we no more possess the language to talk meaningfully about things “beyond the beyond” any more than ants can talk about the country they live in, much less the cosmos. Answers will not come from words, no matter how we rearrange them.

There is, however, another way of knowing. Because everything in our universe is connected, a part of us can tune in to all that is. It is a little like the oceans of the world. They are all connected. If we had the ability to “read” the energy in the water, we could dip our feet into the Pacific Ocean and “pick up” information from the Atlantic or the Indian Ocean.

The language of the universe is silence. An ocean of energy underlies everything. When we enter the silence, as in meditation, we can “tune in” to the larger frequencies. Energetically, we can “go” anywhere in the universe.

We are like drops of water that have separated out of the oneness to experience individuality. We developed our own separate ego selves to differentiate from the other drops. The problem arose when we identified with that ego self, thinking it was the real “us.” We forgot about the true essence. Ego is on a continuous quest to feel better, understand more, reduce suffering, be evolved, or to “get it.”

The truth is that what we yearn for is not answers or even understanding. It is connection. When we shed ego like a suit of clothing and go naked into the silent ocean, we merge back into the home from which we came. We experience our own soul – that drop of cosmic consciousness – that belongs to the whole. That is where we experience peace, contentment and even joy. When we re-enter the world, having tasted the sweetness of home, we realize nothing here need bother us. We see all the machinations of ego; how it creates dramas, polarities, unhappiness and stress and we can choose to no longer identify with that aspect of our being. When we cease to identify with it, it loses all power.

There is nothing to seek, nothing to find, no answers. It is all about where we choose to put our consciousness. Shall we let it energize ego and take us on a wild ride, or do we use it to maintain an open connection with the oneness and live our lives as our true soul selves?

10 Secrets For Success And Inner Peace by Dr.Wayne Dyer

By Andrew Khor

Last Friday, a group met at Khoracle to listen to Dr. Wayne Dyer, one of the pioneers of the human potential movement.

This man has a voice that can move mountains. He said many interesting and humourous things. But I remember a few that stayed in my mind after the talk was over.

1) Be independent of other people's opinions - that means don't cave in to what other people think. This is your life, your journey. Remember that old picture about all the lemmings marching over the cliff and into the ocean. Negative group think may be one of the most destructive things that exist on this planet. If negative group think were to have its way, the Wright brothers may never have flown, many innovations and inventions would not have existed. Have the courage to have your own independent thought - just don't be a pain in the ass about it.

2) Resentment for another person. Wayne Dyer defined resentment as "the poison you consume when you hate another person." Meaning that when you resent another person, all you are doing is hurting yourself. You get angry, you get pissed of - the only person you're hurting is yourself. Your blood pressure goes up and you become hypertensive. While the person you're angry with .... does he or she care?

3) Dance to your own music. You can't spend the rest of your life living out other people's dreams for you. Many parents want their sons and daughters to be a doctor, a lawyer etc. Wayne Dyer's daughter dropped out of university to be a singer. Another daughter after seeing the Robert Redford movie, Horse Whisperer, told her father that she wanted to be a horse whisperer. She has started a class for teaching youngsters how to ride horses.

4) You can't get new results thinking and behaving the same old way. Put it this way, thinking and behaving the same old way gets you the same old results. In other words, you can't get new results by doing the same old thing. By injecting newness or freshness in your thoughts and actions, you will inevitably get new results. And looking at the state of the economy now, there are many opportunities for people to be successful - we just have to change our points of view.

Are you filling a need or satisfying a desire? People will pay for filling a need, they will pay more for satisfying a desire.

Remembering The Moment

By Douglas Dorsey Payton
In The Library Of Knowledge

Enjoying Life

Life, in all of its fullness, is happening right now. While our thoughts are sometimes elsewhere, beautiful opportunities and moments are being passed over and lost to the flow of time. And though we cannot possibly fully experience each leaf that falls to the ground, sometimes we get so attached to reaching our goals that we don't pay attention to the wonder all around us. When we do that, we live in a world that exists only in our heads, while we miss life itself. There is so much to be enjoyed and appreciated that we need to remember to pay attention to the present moment, because it is the only space in which we can experience being alive.

We learn from our past, but dwelling on it keeps us from being fully present to life in the moment. We create our lives with our thoughts, but focusing so firmly on our imagined future keeps us from co-creating with the universe, so we might never allow ourselves to live our dreams as they manifest. It's possible to be so happy and comfortable in our inner worlds that we lose touch with the business of life. We may enjoy spending large portions of time in meditation, or focused on our thoughts.

Life must be attended to, and if we are wise, we can enjoy it at the same time. We can awaken ourselves to the moment we are living right now by taking a deep breath and simply looking around. In doing so, we refocus our attention to our location in the real world. Then we can learn to appreciate the process of working toward our goals as much as their attainment. Balancing ourselves between the present moment and eternity, we can experience and enjoy the full range of reality available to us as spiritual beings living on earth.

Reach for the Pinnacle With Transcendent Sex

By Yvonne K. Fulbright
In Fox News

If you think orgasm is the pinnacle of sex, think again.

Some people actually supersede the state of climax and reach a state of transcendent sex. Such lovemaking is said to involve a divine force, and is regarded as a path to a higher consciousness. It has been known to change one’s views on sex and spirituality. Yet this mystical, spiritual sexual experience is one of the best kept sex secrets around.

Why isn’t it well-known? Recognized by the likes of Deepak Chopra, such meaningful experiences are nothing new. Lovers have had them since ancient times. Still, people who have experienced them are afraid of being called crazy or getting mocked.

You can’t really blame them. Many would find it far-fetched to hear that their friend, brother or co-worker was transported to another realm during sex last night.

The closest I’ve ever come to such a spontaneous, divine experience involved my life-force energy shooting up from the base of my spine during an orgasm. It happened when I was with my ex-lover and I found myself blissfully lost in a purplish-turned-white light that went beyond my body.

The feelings were beyond description. Saying it was amazing doesn’t do it justice. But from what I understand, my story can be trumped by even more ecstatic experiences.

People who have been swept into transcendent ecstasy, according to developmental psychologist Dr. Jenny Wade, have reported:

— Seeing visions;

— Feeling heat, light and energy waves throughout the body;

— Reliving past lives;

— Seeing the face of God;

— Paranormal powers;

— Being visited by gods;

— Feeling possessed by spirits;

— Working with natural forces;

— Nothingness, whiteness, pure bliss;

— One with everything – there is no “me” or time;

— A lack of sensory channels;

— Time travel;

— Enlightenment.

What invites transcendent sex? While many equate it to a religious experience, you don’t need to be a person of faith to experience the sacred, transformational power of sex. You don’t need to be a Tantric practitioner or be specially trained in sexuality or transcendent sex. You don’t need to be striving for orgasm. You don’t necessarily have to be making love.

It can happen to anyone at anytime. It does not involve drug use. It should be pointed out, though, that while people have had transcendent episodes during casual sexual liaisons, these intense events tend to be triggered in a more loving context. Wade estimates that as many as one in eight individuals has had a transcendent episode.

While this path to soulful realization seems too good to be true, experts in this area warn that there are hazards. Individuals have reported being overwhelmed by intimacy or seeking out dangerous liaisons in desiring more.

In being transported to this altered, super-dreamlike state, know that things may be nonsensical. You will likely lose all sense of reality. You may not recognize your lover or feel like yourself. The experience can be destabilizing. You may be sick afterward from the intensity.

Despite its potential drawbacks, the healing, profound impact of transcendent sex has the potential for long-term effects. It can result in releasing shame and guilt around sex. It can help one to heal from sexual trauma and abuse. It can lead to a healthier life.

If you’re interested in learning more, Wade’s "Transcendent Sex" promises cautious guidance on this spiritual awakening. I don’t know about you, but I plan to check it out.

There are No Accidents or Coincidences

The 2008 DreamWorks animation, "Kung Fu Panda", shows Oogway memorably pointed out two truths:

1. There is a saying. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why we call it the present.

2. There are no accidents.

Here is an article on the latter:

By Ken R. Abell
In The Green County Dailies

Life comes with no guarantees. What we take for granted can disappear in a sixty second newsflash. Consider the 8000 workers at DHL in Wilmington. The company's proposed closure of the Wilmington hub may mesh with its global strategy, but for the employees involved, with unemployment around the next corner, the prospect of caring for family needs is unsettling. For those whose jobs will be eliminated, DHL's restructuring plan creates a future that likely appears murky and perhaps even a bit frightening.

Life is like that, isn't it? It slows us down from time to time so we have a chance to assess or adjust our direction. We can be coasting along on cruise control when a sharp curve in the road causes us to pressure the brakes. It can be anything. A distressed phone call from hundreds of miles away; a courageous battle against cancer; an unfolding tragedy we have no control over; a media report about disturbing societal trends; a corporate decision made behind closed doors.

Our attitudes tend to drift, requiring us to recalibrate them to timeless truth. The wise response to potholes or winding roads is to take stock of what is truly important. We should measure our connection to family and friends; we should contemplate our spiritual dimension. Pauses in the traffic jams of our lives can be meditative moments for us to reflect on the deeper meaning of commonplace events or circumstances.

There are no accidents or coincidences. Twists in the road are designed to promote healthy self-examination that results in positive action. The bad news is that we can be pigheaded, so sometimes it takes a near disaster for us to explore our relationship with our Maker; the good news is that nasty turns can be the catalyst for even hardened skeptics and agnostics to become introspective about the mysteries of God.

Everyone desires purpose. No one wants to treadmill his or her way down dead-end lanes. We all want to come to terms with the big questions about existence. There is a hollow place within us that craves significance. We attempt to satisfy its appetite by being true to our natural instincts. Our human inclination is to pursue financial success and personal pleasure by traveling along avenues offering varying degrees of fame and fortune.

An ancient Hebrew king named Solomon exhibited the classic pattern. He indulged in an excessive quest for self-fulfillment. He tried everything his society offered but to no avail. He achieved all the wealth, power and glory possible, yet it was all “chasing after the wind.” Contentment escaped him. Then he evaluated all his experiences. During a long retrospective period he determined that when God is removed from the equation, all human endeavor is meaningless: “Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil.”

Life will knock us to our knees. We live in a corrupt world where no one is immune from its dysfunctional backlashes. In our fragility, we are in constant need of heaven’s help. We ought to include God in our lives, but in the rat-race culture of self-actualization, our tendency is to ignore him. We keep God in some mythical God-slot to be opened only in case of emergencies. Sometimes we box our lives into such structured compartments that we treat spirituality like it’s a fast-food meal: “Would you like God with that?” After all, we can’t have him mixing in with the rest of our lives, can we? Yes, as a matter of fact, we can. And that, friends and neighbors, is the point.

Contrary to the practice of acknowledging God only in the tough situations, we must learn to focus on him so that he impacts every area of our lives. God is not a smörgåsbord item to be added or passed over. He is our loving Heavenly Father; he desires to be involved in all our highs and lows. In reality, we are to strive to live God-centric lives where our choices, our plans and our dreams all flow from that vital relationship. When we invest the necessary effort in an intense relational emphasis, even hairpin turns are seen as merely the ongoing process of change that is life and life only.

Pursuit of Perfection can be an Obsession

By Douglas Todd
In Vancouver Sun

Religions have a different approach to perfection

Ahhh, to be perfect. To make the perfect meal, say the perfect thing, be the perfect parent and, ultimately, be perfectly happy.

As if many of us don't already feel enough inner pressure to be perfect, consumer culture piles it on, telling us we'll only be satisfied if we achieve the absolute in materialism: The perfect body and perfect career while living in the perfect house in the perfect neighbourhood.

Religion has also had a hand in leading us to strive for perfection.

Eastern religions, and contemporary teachers such as Vancouver's Eckhart Tolle and many yoga instructors, say it's possible to reach a perfect state of bliss, called enlightenment or nirvana.

For its part, Western traditions such as Islam teach that Mohammed, the religion's founder, was perfect. And neo-classical Christianity also has often maintained Jesus was perfect. But striving for the wrong kind of perfection can lead us down a destructive path.

It can make us feel guilty for never measuring up to all sorts of ideals. It can turn us into workaholics and fretters, leading to psychological conditions such as obsessive compulsive personality disorder.

Our culture often applauds those who pursue perfection, such as entrepreneurs and Olympic and other athletes. But there is a good chance many of these turn obsessive about reaching their exacting goals.

It can also be alarming when the pursuit of perfection is combined with modern technology. Athletes shoot for the unparralled with the aid of steroids -- and parents aim, with laboratory help, for the optimum baby.

As Harvard philosopher Michael Sandel writes in The Case Against Perfection, technological fixes can lead to the commodification of human life, a failure to recognize our existence should be seen, in many ways, as "a gift."

When religious and spiritual leaders push for morally spotless perfection, the chances increase that unnecessary guilt and self-loathing will be produced.

This subject is explored in Harold Coward's vital new book, The Perfectibility of Human Nature in Eastern and Western Thought (State University of New York Press).

There are major differences between the way Eastern and Western traditions approach perfection, writes Coward, professor emeritus and founding director of the enterprising Centre for Studies in Religion and Society at the University of Victoria.

Broadly speaking, Coward maintains Hinduism and Buddhism teach that human nature can be perfected -- and that we will continue to be reincarnated on Earth until we reach that elusive state of perfection, often called Enlightenment.

In contrast, the Vancouver Island scholar maintains that Western religion -- and psychology (following Carl Jung and others) -- generally teach that humans are fundamentally flawed, not perfectible.

Judaism, Christianity and Islam suggest, in different ways, he says, that profoundly fallible humans need God, or in some cases the afterlife, to even consider reaching perfection.

Metro Vancouver scholar-poet Susan McCaslin has also done insightful work to help us understand perfection in a life-giving way.

The author of Lifting the Stone, At the Mercy Seat and many other books says she used to be teased as "little Miss Perfect" when she was young.

She tried so earnestly at everything in her youth, particularly at compensating for her mentally ill mother.

But McCaslin has since come to believe that " 'perfectionism' is at the root of a deep malaise in western culture, tied to the myth of infinite perfection of the material world and of our status within it."

McCaslin doesn't believe there is such a thing as flawless perfection. Wisely, she would prefer to see people playing sports for the love of the game, as well as painting, sculpting or writing out of a passion for beauty; not out of an obsession with attaining impossible perfection.

Since she is steeped in Western mystical traditions, McCaslin has come up with a fresh interpretation of what Jesus was talking about in the gospel of Matthew when he was quoted saying: "The law of God is perfect, converting the soul. Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."

The poet-scholar, who until recently taught literature at Douglas College, doesn't think Jesus was urging humans to achieve the impossible. Instead, McCaslin has found evidence the Bible has for centuries been mistranslated in regards to the concept of perfection.

McCaslin discovered in etymological search that English Bible translators through history appear not to have understood the deeper meanings of the Hebrew and Aramaic words they wrote down as "perfect."

Instead, in Aramaic, the language used by Jesus, the word "perfect" (gmar) is closer to "ripe" or "fully flavoured," like a satisfying dinner (or, as the French says, a "parfait" meal), writes McCaslin in an essay titled Repositioning Perfection (found at www.susanmccaslin.ca

And in Hebrew, the language upon which much of the Bible is based, she says the word for "perfect" (taman) was closer to "mature," "whole" and "complete."

In other words, McCaslin believes we should switch the search for absolute "perfection" over into an ongoing quest to be more mature human beings.

After exploring the Christian atonement theology, which says Jesus died as a "perfect" sacrifice for the sins of the world, she suggests Jesus wasn't ever saying Christians should become piously, obsessively perfect.

Instead, Jesus was calling on followers to, "Become whole, be part of a loving motion toward completeness." Or "Be in the flowing light of the Godhead."

Although Harold Coward's book offers less personal guidance than McCaslin, the venerable UVic scholar in the end also suggests, along with pioneering psychologist William James, there is value in following the "saintly" way shown by Buddha, Jesus and St. Francis of Assisi.

Perhaps, Coward hints, the fusing of the best of Eastern and Western traditions ultimately points to how human perfectibility is not a static end place, but "both a path and a possibility that each of us must discover for himself or herself."

In a somewhat similar vein, McCaslin believes that heeding the call to perfection, or full maturity, requires some striving and willpower. But much more, she maintains persuasively, it calls for "letting go."

That means immersing oneself in what mystics would call the transcendent process of transformation, which is always aiming to increase love in the universe.

The Art Of Letting Go

Dr. Alan Zimmerman's Comments:

Sooner or later, everyone you know will disappoint you in some way. They'll say something or fail to say something that will hurt you. And they'll do something or fail to do something that will anger you. It's inevitable.

Unfortunately, you make things worse when you stew over someone's words and deeds. When you dwell on a rude remark or an insensitive action made by another person, you're headed for deeper problems.

In fact, the more you dwell on these things, the more bitter you'll get.

You'll find your joy, peace and happiness slipping away. And you'll find your productivity slowing down as you spend more and more time thinking about the slight or telling others about it. Eventually, if you don't stop doing it, you'll even get sick.

So what should you do the next time someone betrays you? TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR FEELINGS. Even though the other person may be at fault, even though the other person wronged you, you are still responsible for your own feelings.

In other words, other people do not "cause" your feelings. You choose them.

For example, two different people could be told that their suggestions made at the staff meeting were "stupid and idiotic." One person may "choose" to feel so hurt that he never speaks up at any other meeting again. The other person may "choose" to feel sorry for the critic, sorry that the critic couldn't see the wisdom and necessity of her suggestions.

As long as you blame other people for your feelings, as long as you believe other people caused your feelings, you're stuck. You're a helpless victim.

But if you recognize the fact that you choose your feelings and you are responsible for your feelings, there's hope.?You can take some time to think about your feelings. And you can decide what is the best thing to say or do.

Then, you've got to learn to WALK AWAY FROM DISAPPOINTMENT.? It's difficult to do, but it's possible. The famous 19th century Scottish historian, Thomas Carlyle, proved that.

After working on his multi-volume set of books on "The French Revolution" for six years, Carlyle completed the manuscript and took volume one to his friend John Stuart Mill. He asked Mill to read it.

Five days later, Mill's maid accidentally threw the manuscript into the fire. In agony, Mill went to Carlyle's house to tell him that his work had been destroyed.

Carlyle did not flinch. With a smile, he said, "That's all right, Mill.

These things happen. It is a part of life. I will start over. I can remember most of it, I am sure. Don't worry. It's all here in my mind. Go,my friend! Do not feel bad."

As Mill left, Carlyle watched him from the window. Carlyle turned to his wife and said, "I did not want him to see how crushed I am by this misfortune." And with a heavy sigh, he added, "Well the manuscript is gone, so I had better start writing again."

Carlyle finally completed the work, which ranks as one of the great classics of all time. He had learned to walk away from his disappointment.

After all, what could Carlyle have done about his burnt manuscript?

Nothing. Nothing would have resurrected the manuscript. All Carlyle could do was to get bitter or get started. And what can you do about anything once it is over? Not much. You can try to correct it if it is possible, or you can walk away from it if
it isn't. Those are your only two choices.

Sometimes you've just got to shake it off and step up. It's like the farmer who had an old mule who fell into a deep dry well. As he assessed the situation, he knew it would be difficult, if not impossible, to lift the heavy mule out of the deep well.

So the farmer decided to bury the mule in the well.

After all, the mule was old and the well was dry, so he could solve two problems at once. He could put the old mule out of his misery and have his well filled.

The farmer asked his neighbors to help him with the shoveling. To work they went. As they threw shovel-full of dirt after shovel-full of dirt on the mule's back, the mule became frightened.

Then all of a sudden an idea came to the mule. Each time they would throw a shovel-full of dirt on his back, he would shake it off and step up.

Shovel-full after shovel-full, the mule would shake it off and step up. In not too long a time, the exhausted and dirty mule stepped over the top of the well and through the crowd.

That's the same approach we all need to take. We need to shake it off and step up.

Finally, you need to FORGIVE. It's difficult, especially when the other person doesn't deserve your forgiveness or doesn't even seek it. It's difficult when the other person is clearly in the wrong.

Part of the difficulty comes from a common misunderstanding of forgiveness.

Forgiveness doesn't mean that the other person's behavior is okay. And forgiveness doesn't mean that the other person is off the hook. He's still responsible for his misbehavior.

Forgiveness is about letting yourself off the emotional hook. It's about releasing your negative emotions, attitudes, and behaviors. It's about letting go of the past so you can go forward to the future.

Everyone in your life, everyone on and off the job is going to disappoint you. If you know how to respond to those situations, you'll be way ahead of most people. You'll be able to live above and beyond your circumstances.

Action:

Identify two people that have disappointed, hurt, or angered you. If possible, select two people towards whom you still have some bitterness.

Then ask yourself, "How does my bitterness serve me?

Am I happier holding on to it?

Do I sleep better?

Is my life richer, fuller, and better because of my bitterness?"

If you find that your bitterness is hurting you, make a decision. Actually decide to let it go.

Walk away from the disappointment -- which means you no longer dwell on it or talk about it. Period!

Or as Islam teaches us, the true believer is the one who can forgive while she is angry.

Practice Spiritual Exercise

By Rheo Aieta

In The Olympian

Building spiritual and physical muscles are similar. Both require regular exercises over time to develop strength and stamina.

Eckankar teaches that a person's spiritual unfoldment is the result of one's own experiences. Although we all need to understand the spiritual laws, no minister, priest, rabbi or related authority figure can dictate the how, why and when of our own personal spiritual journey. So, if understanding our unique relationship to God as Soul involves an expanding awareness learned from personal experiences, how does one obtain or recognize these spiritual insights?

Just as a health club offers a variety of exercise equipment, there are hundreds of different spiritual exercises one can practice. One of these is chanting the sacred word HU (pronounced "hue"), an ancient name for God.

We can experience the inflow and outflow of the Holy Spirit when we chant HU as a love song to God. Singing HU draws one closer to God. HU can be sung, with eyes open or closed, in a long drawn out sound, HU-U-U-U. Harold Klemp, the spiritual leader of Eckankar, states, "The power of HU can benefit everyone, whether they are Muslim or Christian or any other belief. It doesn't change one's religion, but it will enhance it."

Just like physical exercise, spiritual exercise often requires practice and self-discipline to obtain significant results. For several months, I read about the HU, heard people talk about the HU, heard others sing the HU and I chanted HU privately. I then heard the HU, as the voice of God, with my inner ears for the first time.

I was reading a book while listening to music when a glass jar of seashells shattered into pieces across the floor. After cleaning up the glass and turning off the music, I then read that the qualities of sound in the lower worlds have negative traits that can puncture holes in one's aura and positive characteristics that can uplift one's consciousness. It was at that moment I heard the inner sound of HU.

Since then, singing HU has helped me recognize divine guidance and love, offered solace during the loss of my child, and provided peace and calm during challenging times.

My story is an example of how each one of us has our own unique relationship with God. I believe this experience would not have oc curred had I not been doing spiritual exercises regularly. In other words, I earned this experience by building my spiritual muscles.

Another insight I discovered about spiritual muscles is that we also can lose them. I can forget the consciousness of my true identity as Soul, that I am not my mind or physical body, if I neglect to do my spiritual exercises. The awareness of a hard-earned truth will not be remembered several months later if I have not consistently maintained my spiritual disciplines.

As Harold Klemp states in The Spiritual Exercises of ECK, "Do one exercise every day. Spend about 20 minutes on it. This builds your spiritual stamina gently over time. Regular daily practice is the key to success."

Regardless of your beliefs and even if you already recognize the blessings of God, building spiritual muscles through daily spiritual exercises can only enhance your spiritual journey. Singing HU as a love song to God is an easy way to strengthen your personal connection with Divine Spirit. To listen to the HU, visit http://eckankar.org/hu.html.

Rheo Aieta is the Spiritual Services Director of the Washington Satsang Society and a local member of the Eckankar clergy.

"Ask & It Is Given" by Esther & Jerry Hicks

By Tom Butler-Bowdon
In The City Wire

Most people have heard of the ‘Law of Attraction’ through the film and book The Secret, but by the time of its release in 2006 Esther and Jerry Hicks had already spent 20 years travelling America teaching the concept. It is easy to see the influence of their writings on The Secret and other books of this ilk.

Why, then, are they not the bestselling writers in the field? Part of the reason must lie in their claim to be simply ‘channelling’ information from the spiritual realm. This puts off many potential readers. Unsurprisingly, at the beginning of Ask and It Is Given they try to explain how they arrived at their unusual vocations.

The story begins in 1985, when Esther and Jerry visited a healer in Arizona. The healer was supposedly receiving spiritual communications from a spirit guide named Theo. Theo told Esther she too had a spiritual guide that wanted to make itself known. The couple were told to meditate. After some months Esther began ‘receiving’ information from this guide, who identified itself as Abraham.

Then in her 30s, Esther had never meditated and was happy with her life. But this ‘absence of opinions or angst’ apparently made her a good receiver of otherworldly information. The guides had made contact in order to remind people of ‘the laws of the universe that govern all things’, including the transmission of desires into reality through the law of attraction.

The question must be asked, are the Hicks perpetrating a great hoax, or is Esther really the voice of eternal truths from the spirit world? In his foreword to Ask and It Is Given, spiritual self-development author Wayne Dyer describes the book as containing powerful universal truths. You can decide for yourself, but it is certainly the Hicks’ most comprehensive work, containing all the basic ‘Abraham’ teachings and 22 ‘processes’ or exercises to put them into practice.

Understand the law

Simply stated, the universal law of attraction is that whatever you put your attention to through thought or desire becomes reality. Whenever you are focused on what you don’t have, that situation of not-having will also be your reality. You attract to yourself things or people that are the equivalent of your state of being, or ‘vibration’.

Abraham notes that deciding to elevate your mood or feeling in each moment is vital for increasing your vibration, which in turn attracts things, people and feelings of a like vibration. Pretending you are feeling good when you are not will not change your vibration. The idea is to choose an emotion higher than the one you are experiencing now. The more positive you think and feel in each moment, the more open is your connection to the ‘source’, or provider of all things and all love. The worse you feel, the more closed this connection will be.

Trust your emotions

If you are feeling depressed, getting angry is actually a ‘higher’ feeling, since it will take you out of your depressed state. Once you have chosen anger as a relief from depression, you are then empowered to choose another thought or emotion higher up the scale. Once you know how to raise your emotional state deliberately, you are no longer powerless before your emotions.

Because your emotions indicate your vibrational frequency, they are an infallible indicator as to whether you are aligned with the source. If you are aligned with your source, you are on track to receive whatever you want.

Behind every desire is the desire to feel joy. The objects of desire, Abraham says, are less important than the fact that you are allowing life energy to flow. When you appreciate things and people and you love yourself, you are operating at a higher vibration. This changes when you begin to criticise or find fault. The better you feel about yourself, the more you have to give others. This is not selfishness. It is only people unconnected with their true selves who are jealous or insecure.

You are born to desire and fulfil

The most common question people ask of Hicks/Abraham is: ‘Why is it taking me so long to get what I want?’ The answer is that it is not because you don’t want something enough, because you are not worthy or because ‘fate is against you’. Rather, you are not in a vibrational state matching that of your desire. What has prevented you from getting what you want is you. Whenever you ask for something it is always given, but you must mentally allow it to come.

People feel guilty about having desires, but Abraham states that desires are the very essence of being human because they make you feel who you really are. If you are deliberate about your thoughts and desires you can be more specific about the world you want to create for yourself. Life is a process of asking and receiving, and you are the creator of your own reality, whether consciously or not. You must be eager and optimistic about what is coming, while having no impatience or doubt about its coming. If you are feeling good about something you want and allowing it to come, it will.

Often, what a person thinks is a desire is not – it is a ‘resisted desire’. The key to manifesting your desires is to assume it is already being experienced, that you already have it and are enjoying it. In this way, you set up a level of vibration that can only attract its material equivalent.

Abraham observes that when people discover the law of attraction, at first they become uncomfortable with their own thoughts and what they may be attracting. But the spirits note that thoughts are not a loaded gun waiting to wreak havoc; there is always plenty of time to understand how the laws work and to begin to change your thinking, one small step at a time. There is always a buffer between having a thought and its expression in reality. Don’t be afraid of uncontrolled thoughts; instead, realise that every attempt to change your thinking toward more positive, less resistant forms brings real benefits.

Final comments

Ask and It Is Given is really a work of philosophy as it attempts to explain the link between thought and reality, and the extent to which we create or control our worlds. It says there is no such thing as ‘fate’ directing your life according to some predetermined pattern. You are a co-creator with the source (God or universal law) and can shape your life as you wish.

is really a work of philosophy as it attempts to explain the link between thought and reality, and the extent to which we create or control our worlds. It says there is no such thing as ‘fate’ directing your life according to some predetermined pattern. You are a co-creator with the source (God or universal law) and can shape your life as you wish.

Some readers will find the idea of channelled messages beyond the pale, but if you can get beyond this, it could be argued that the law of attraction is really common sense. Everyone knows, for instance, that if you think about something for a long time the likelihood of it having a real effect in your life is many times greater than if you think about it briefly. It is also common sense that desires morph into beliefs, and beliefs make us who we are. When you choose your desires and beliefs, it is logical that you can begin to master your reality.

The material on the emotions is fascinating, and in a practical sense is worth the weight of stacks of psychology books. There are intriguing chapter titles such as ‘Trying to hinder another’s freedom always costs you your freedom’ and ‘You are only 17 seconds away from 68 seconds to fulfilment’.

Read The Secret after Ask and It Is Given and it becomes clear how much Rhonda Byrne drew from the Abraham teachings. Esther Hicks was a central figure in the original film of The Secret, providing a massive boost to awareness of the Abraham teachings. However, she later asked to be edited out because she felt Byrne’s organisation was operating at a ‘different vibration’. She and Jerry subsequently released their own film, The Secret Behind the Secret, which was strongly promoted by Oprah Winfrey.

Think on: Esther and Jerry Hicks believe people can learn to guide their thought patterns in a more positive view.

Esther and Jerry Hicks

Esther Hicks and Jerry Hicks met in Fresno, California in 1976 and married in 1981. Jerry had made money through Amway, a marketing and distrubution network, and attributes his success to reading Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich. Each has two children from previous marriages. Their other books include The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent: Living the Art of Allowing and The Law of Attraction: The Basics of the Teachings of Abraham. The Abraham-Hicks organisation is headquartered in San Antonio, Texas.

In A Similar Vein

Genevieve Behrend - Your Invisible Power
Rhonda Byrne - The Secret
Charles Fillmore - Prosperity
John Randolph Price - The Abundance Book

Do's and Don'ts of Stress Control and Spirituality

By Sumit Kaushik
In Merinews: Power To People

Erosion of potential is known as stress. Spirituality is the key. Selection of 'Eustress' over 'Dystress' is known as stress management. We should take care of ourselves. We should be energetic. Our thoughts should be positive..

DUE TO emergence of science and technology, stress came into existence in 1980s. Erosion of human potential is stress. Stress is the non-specific reaction of the external stimuli. If we take stress positively, it becomes Eustress and negative stress is called Dystress. Concept of sound health depends on physical health, mental health, social health and spiritual health. Disharmony among the four components of human beings can lead to stress. Stress should be constructive to gain creativity.

Spiritual health is the key. We should take care of ourselves. We should be energetic. Our thoughts should be positive. We should eat balanced diet. We should avoid overeating and dieting. We should be vegetarians. We should avoid fast food for mental peace. We should practice yoga and ayurveda to be more agile and active. Pills are not the way to health. We need to balance our emotions. We need to stay alert. We should be speedy and learn new things. We should take risks and go for success. Blissful life is a positive way of complete well being. We should identify the stress signals and then these signals need to be lynched by us. Three types of signals are -- physical and nervous signals, mood signals and behavioural signals. Stress gives us tension, depression, frustration, hostile attitude, pressure and thats how we become hopeless and helpless. We should follow WHO directives to stay healthy. We should be aware of the influences around us -- what we eat, how we sleep, what is our daily routine. Anxiety and pressure prevail as we ignore mental health. Mental fatigue makes man weak. Eight hours of sleep is must. Exercise, yoga, balanced diet, daily routine should be maintained.

Failure in achieving set standard affects mental health. Stay away from guilt and be free from complexes. Mental well being depends on art of thinking. Negative thoughts lead to illness. Good thoughts nourish life. Meditation leads to mental health. Gayatri mantra gives light and energy. Being a social animal, we should learn the art of living in the society. All relationships are suffering, man has bought loneliness for itself. Modernisation and self-centred attitude lead to loneliness. Loneliness is the cause of disease. Socialising is one of the best qualities as it brings happiness, freshness and vitality. Being interactive, friendly and affectionate improves health. Life has turned mechanical. We should provide selfless service for the benefit of others. The concept of USA -- ’Upasna’, ’Sadhna’ and ’Aradhna’ should be followed. Laugh as much as possible. Avoid feelings of jealousy, hatred, anger and frustration. Self confidence is the faith of God. If you are always surrounded by good thoughts, you will be spiritually stronger and your mind will be always filled with good and high thinking. We need to know the level of our emotions in order to refine them. Holistic health depends on spiritual health and positive thinking. Management of thoughts is very important. Treat yourself by your inner force. Spirituality is immortal. Self-development, inner happiness and self-force give you growth. Spirituality is essential in your outlook. Lower compatibility level is one of the reason of stress. We are progressing towards decay and stress is going to be the killer.

Due to stress inner potential gets injured and energy level gets down. Unhealthy diet, unhealthy pattern, drug addiction, feeling of financial insecurity or illness in family creates stress problems. Stress is the menace in today’s life. Science is a boon, but it is dynamic and speedy. Speed thrills but kills. We must be able to adopt the changes that science and technology has brought because we do not have to remain obsolete. Rhythm of life should be smooth. Burning out shows that the person has reached the critical stage. Physical health depends upon the activities we do. Do not get disheartened by small things in life. Spiritual health nourishes life. The one who comes out of this vicious circle is a true human being. Stress management is all about the selection of ’Eustress’ over ’Dystress’.

Buy Your Way To Happiness? Not Likely

By Bill Allin
In Gather

"Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude."
- Denis Waitley, American inspirational speaker and author (b. 1924)

What the hell does that mean?

If that was your reaction to the quote, you might be a bit light on the happiness scale, and may not know it.

Think about things that can be owned, earned, worn or consumed. They all require spending money. Thanks to the rich and powerful West and its persistent propaganda telling us that we can't be happy unless we spend money, an unbelievably large number of people in the world equate happiness and spending.

That requires people to have money to be happy, going along that way of thinking. Everyone who is poor must be unhappy, as a corollary. Or at least lack the ability to be truly happy.

People with lots of money spend, spend, spend. And they are happy. Or they believe they are. They must be, they conclude, because they are living the lifestyle that says they must be happy. They believe they are happy because they have been taught to believe that.

Yet look at the divorce rate among these people. Look at the percentage of their kids who take drugs and alcohol and simply can't manage in school. Look at the number who grow up with a video game as a surrogate mother instead of a real one. By the time they are in their teens, they don't want their natural mother anyway, many of them, because their mothers don't know what to do with them. And they have no idea what to do with their mothers.

So they all spend as much as they can to be happier.

But they don't get happier. What they do get is embroiled in addictions and obsessions, causes to which they devote much of their lives--such as their religion of choice or a political party--in a vain effort to teach the rest of the world how to be happy.

Some cults in other parts of the world understand. They have no source of the money needed to spend the way the addicts do in the West. So, jealous of the West and their own inability to get money to spend on the luxuries they believe they need to be happy, they become suicide bombers or terrorists of other stripes. Some kill their own people out of spite.

Most people in poorer countries don't behave that way, of course. But they have gotten the message. They believe that only fate has prevented them from being happy by not giving them the ability to earn money they can spend to make them happy. "Poor me, fate has dealt me such a cruel blow."

However, others in poorer countries do not succumb to the consumerism propaganda. They believe that happiness is what you make for yourself. And what you make for others around you in the process. They become musicians and dancers, for example, and find happiness in their music. They cherish the "spiritual experience of living every minute" with their music. Others get involved with other forms of artistic endeavour.

They lose themselves in whatever they do. Musicians become one with their music. Painters one with their paintings. Actors one with their particular craft, and so on.

Are the arts, then, the secret to happiness? No, it's the giving of themselves to something beneficial or to someone else that is enjoyed and appreciated by others that brings the happiness.

I can't say whether they live each moment with "love, grace and gratitude." Those are Denis Waitley's words. What words would I use? I stumble over them myself now that I have found happiness I could never have understood until recently.

While I was growing up, I was taught repeatedly, at home, at school, at church, playing sports and doing just about every activity involving others my own age that I must come first in my life. I must be in charge. I must be in control. I must succeed at everything. "Pay yourself first" and buy what you can with it. Borrow to buy what you can't afford so that you can show it off to others so they can see your success. Only when I outgrew that infantile, selfish and consumerish way of thinking and began to share my life freely with others did I find happiness.

With happiness, the more you give to others, the more you get back in return. Business doesn't work that way, which is why business wants us to be selfish. And consumers. Business lives for money. A life built around a business model is pretty shallow.

Business, however, cannot be happy. It's emotionless, even sociopathic if you believe some studies. Shaping our lives on a business model not only doesn't bring much happiness in return, it tends to lose for us many of the opportunities for happiness that we could have enjoyed.

Make someone happy today. You'll be glad you did. Really.

Meditation: Part of the Ancient Judeo-Christian Heritage

By Dennis and Vicki Martin
In PressPubs.Com

In our rushed and sometimes toxic world, most of us would like nothing more than to relax. Some people have even made a business of helping others relax.

The "relaxation response" popularized by Dr. Herbert Benson of Harvard Medical School in the 1970’s is based on two simple steps common to all approaches to meditation, past and present:

• focusing the mind on a single object; and

• passively dismissing and ignoring all other thoughts.

Although it may sound a bit "New-Agey", or at least a little mystical, meditation is also part of the ancient Judeo-Christian heritage. The Psalmist speaks often of meditation: "Blessed is the man who ... meditates in [God’s] law day and night" (Psalm 1:1-2). Since David is here speaking of an activity that can fill his days even as he works, it may be a little different from the tuned-out state one often thinks of as "meditation." But they have a lot in common, too.

One reason I myself have failed so miserably at meditating is my inability (or unwillingness?) to dismiss all other thoughts. If I think about the garden of Eden, for example, I may picture trees and flowers. Then I may be interrupted with thoughts of my own garden. What should I plant in that bare spot? Should I fertilize my phlox? I bring my thoughts back to Eden, and wonder about the coverings that were provided. How did they sew them together? And then, inevitably: where is the button I need to sew on my shirt?

And on it goes until I realize that my focus has not been on God, but on me. Applying the two basic "meditation" fundamentals might be helpful here. I could narrow my focus more, maybe choosing a specific aspect of the garden as it reflects God’s character.. And I need to learn to ignore all the personal thoughts that sneak in.

So, how about refining those two fundamentals of meditation? We do need a single focus. In fact, singleness of mind is recommended by God. "The light of the body is the eye; therefore if your eye is single, your whole body will be full of light" (Matthew 6:22 ). This single focus, unlike the mindlessness of popular meditation techniques, has an object. The object is God. David defines for us many of the particular ways in which he focuses on God: "I will meditate also on all your work, and talk of your doings" (Psalm 77:12); "I will meditate on your precepts, and have respect to your ways" (Psalm 119:15).

Focusing our thoughts isn’t really about emptying our minds, it is about filling our minds with the right things. But we may have to make room for those things by consciously narrowing our focus, and excluding some of the clutter.

We need to clear our minds, not of everything, but of everything that distracts us. Usually we are distracted by thoughts of ourselves. But with practice, that can change: "if you... honour him, not going your own way, nor finding your own pleasure, nor speaking your own words: Then you shall find delight in the LORD" (Isaiah 58:13-14).

Meditation is often done for personal reasons. The "relaxation response" even identifies those reasons. The benefits of relaxation are given as: decreased metabolism, decreased blood pressure and feelings of peace and contentment. Any spiritual benefits are usually seen as secondary. As with happiness, relaxation has become a goal in itself, whereas God presents it to us as a by-product of a life lived for Him.

Why did David meditate? Sometimes he sought the calm that comes from such quiet thinking, even as his enemies sought to slay him: " Princes also did sit and speak against me: but your servant did meditate on your statutes" (Psalm 119:23). Sometimes he did so to increase his understanding of God.

We think about what we love. And if we love the right things, we can be sure that calm will come. As the Psalmist himself said (Psalm 119:165), "Great peace have they that love your law."

A Book Excerpt from "Remembering Your Soul Purpose" by Karen Bishop

"Your Blood-Lines"

BEFORE WE INFUSE our energy into human form, we carefully choose the situations and vibrations we will be exposed to that will best support the purpose or "mission" that we intended to accomplish during this particular experience.

Part of the vibrational environment we choose involves our parents or individuals that we will find ourselves being influenced by the most. When we are still only in our mother's womb, we begin to absorb her vibrations as well as the vibrations surrounding us. We are also influenced by the vibrations in the sperm of our father. This is why we may carry the traits and behaviors of our parents, even if we have not been exposed to them much while we were growing up.

The same is true for transplant patients, etc., who now embody the vibrations of a new organ which carries the vibrations of its donor. But as for our parents or significant caregivers, this vibrational influence is much more pronounced and intended to assist in forming our own unique and special personal vibrations.

These parental vibrations affect us in several ways.

I know a man I will call Dean. With his permission I will share his story. Dean was born into poverty and the only child of an abusive father and very caring mother. Dean's father ridiculed him, ignored him, continually told him that he would amount to nothing, and never kept his word where Dean was concerned. Very arrogant and domineering, he ruled the house with an iron fist. Always busy and accomplishing things, he was also very disciplined.

When Dean was 14, his father told him that if he saved up enough money, he could buy a car. Dean worked and saved his money, and when the day arrived to pick out the new car, Dean went to his dad to tell him his great news that the time was finally here. His father only looked at him and said, "I don't know what you are talking about. I am not going to help you find a new car. Leave me alone and get out of here!"

Around that time, Dean's mother began to encourage him to leave their home. Although a very loving and nurturing woman, her energy told him in many ways to "get out," and that he was not wanted there anymore and unwelcome. She began as well to shoo him away whenever he came near her.

So at the age of 15, Dean left home, began sweeping out pool halls for some change, and thus began a new life supporting himself. Dean's destiny (birth) number in numerology is an "8." Eights are here to offer their special gifts of manifesting (especially money) and of making things happen. Dean's expression number is a "2." Twos are here to be the diplomat and to create peace and partnership through their non-confrontational energy of love and support.

Has Dean created the life he came to create and has he accomplished what he came to do?

Dean is now a self-made millionaire. He is the close soul friend that I mentioned earlier who helped me through the ascension process with his gifts of financial support. Being born into poverty created the desire and contrast needed to spur him on to create something different. Through discipline and desire to prove his father wrong, he fulfilled his intentions of becoming an amazing manifester. Through his experience with his father and the car, he also became a man who always kept his word. Dean is one of the people I know who always does what he says he will, is always there when needed and who stays steady and reliable. To this day, even after knowing him for ten years, I still speak to him several times per week.

In addition, Dean has a special gift of being close and of connecting. Although "eights" can at times be domineering and judgmental, Dean balances this with his desire for harmony through his "two" energy. He strongly desires union and partnership because of his mother (and his father) demonstrating to him the opposite through their rejection.

Shortly after I met Dean, his mother's spirit appeared at the foot of my bed one night and asked me to tell Dean something. She wanted me to tell him that she shooed him off because she wanted to protect him from his father. It was an act of great love on her part. And at soul levels we souls know exactly what we are doing in order to assist the souls we are connected to for their greatest benefit.

This is why we experience so much contrast to what we are wanting on a global level. Our government and many current leaders here in the United States are demonstrating huge amounts of contrast to what we are wanting so that enough individuals will wake up and want to create change. These beautiful souls are supporting our evolution in monumental ways by serving as beacons of embodying what we DON'T want in order to create in enough of us a desire to create and manifest what we DO want. They are waving great red flags, trying to get enough attention in order to create change and growth.

At soul levels, we are all always going in the same direction and wanting the same things. We dearly love each other and therefore continually offer to those in our arenas the contrast needed to assist them in their growth so that they can become who they came to be and create what they came to create. All is always in divine perfect order, just as the cracked pot demonstrated at the beginning of this module.

When I used to give soul readings, a common theme was for one partner to create a situation by leaving the other partner, usually through an unpleasant experience. These clients were always very distraught about the abandonment and rejection, but what was actually happening was a great act of love. At soul levels, the "abandoner" was most always leaving in order to offer their partner an opportunity to advance and move ahead with their plan. If one partner was lagging behind, they would usually leave the other in order to free them up for a new and better experience. It was a beautiful and loving gift, very similar to Dean's mother.

How else can parental vibrations affect us? Our parents or primary caregivers also offer us their gifts and talents and we embody them as well with the intention at soul levels to bring them up to even higher levels...

Dean's father had the gift of discipline and action, and he passed these on to Dean who used them beautifully to create his money and all his holdings. Without discipline, "eights" do not get very far. It was an important ingredient for Dean's success.

Dean's mother was very loving and nurturing. Dean has always been a caring man who continually takes his friends and clients out to dinner, always making sure that they have enough to eat and are well taken care of. He also focuses this ability on himself and since I have known him, he has always made sure he is nurtured, well-fed, and takes the time out needed for brief rests. He could not have gotten where he has without these abilities and traits he received from his parents.

As he is here to make things happen, Dean is also an amazing inventor. When he couldn't count on his father regarding the situation with his new car, he learned to take things into his own hands. And because he had so little when he was a young boy, he had to create things from what was on hand. Over and over I have seen him solve a dilemma or create something from what appeared to be absolutely nothing. With the mind of an engineer, he can pull things together that he finds in a barn, for instance, and invent a process and piece of unusual equipment that serves a purpose. These are gifts and talents that he will use in the New World as he creates inventions that serve New purposes yet to unfold.

As we embody the special gifts and talents of our parents and caregivers, our intent before birth was to bring them to even higher levels and to apply them to a New and higher way of being."

To access the newest energy alert, kindly click on the link below or go directly to the What's Up On Planet Earth? web site and access the newest energy alert page. www.whatsuponplanetearth.com/latest.htm

10 Tips To Top Up Your Energy

By Erin McCafferty
In Independent.ie

Feeling worn out, stressed and, although it might pain you to admit it, a little out of control? These days we all seem to spend our lives running from A to B, cramming in as much as possible and it's easy to get worn out in the process.

Energy management expert Alyssa Abbey claims that by identifying the major stresses in your life and making small changes, you can vastly lower stress levels and increase your energy. Her new book, Stop Making Excuses And Start Living With Energy, is full of common sense advice about how to do just that. Here are some of her top suggestions.

1. Identify the problems

Sit down and try to figure out what specific things, situations or people are contributing to your lack of energy.

It can be anything from a tense working environment, to doing banal chores, or socialising with people who drain you.

Abbey points out that once you identify the problems, a few simple changes can really help. "Sometimes it can be an easy switch, such as changing your working hours or the way you do your food shopping but often, especially where people are concerned, it's a case of finding something that works for you," she explains, adding that you must aim for the right balance of mental, emotional, spiritual and physical energy.

"There is no one formula for building and sustaining these energy currencies," she says. "Each of us must find workable and enjoyable ways of maintaining energy and vitality."

2. Banish 'Mental Gremlins'

"Limiting beliefs are fears and ego-driven thoughts that I call Mental Gremlins," says the author. First believe that you have the ability to banish negative thoughts and then put it into practise.

Mind your language; for example, if you constantly tell yourself you are useless at everything, you must replace that thought with something positive every time if pops into your head. Otherwise you will be useless at everything.

3. Accept that you are only in control of yourself

We all spend a lot of time trying to control events, people and situations.

Instead of wasting your time, focus on controlling yourself and your reactions.

For example, instead of blaming another person for 'making you angry', realise that you have a choice in how you react to that person.

Take responsibility for yourself and watch the results.

4. Spend time with people who energise you

This doesn't mean that you have to cut off your lifelong friend or members of your family because they are, at the moment, draining you emotionally.

It simply means that you should be aware that some people are more demanding that others.

"You can't shut out family or colleagues when they annoy you, but you can find ways of limiting your time with certain people, or explaining how you're feeling. Tackling these issues will give your energy a major boost," says Abbey.

It is important to look after yourself too when you're in a caring situation. "If you're helping a friend who is ill or unhappy, make sure you also take care of yourself."

5. Stop procrastinating

The laundry is building up in a corner of the kitchen, the grass needs cutting and you can't remember the last time you cleaned out the fridge.

And instead of tackling each chore one at a time, you're sitting around stressing about them. Sounds familiar? You need to get moving says the author. "Often, just thinking about what you have to do is draining. But once you get on with the job itself, it often doesn't take that long."

Visualise yourself doing the task in hand. If you've got too much on your plate, don't be afraid to ask for help. Organisation and de-cluttering can free up your energy, giving you more time to concentrate on what really matters.

6. Stop trying to be perfect and prioritise

Let's face it, nobody can do it all, so stop trying. Analyse what you can do and set realistic goals for yourself.

7. Work to live, don't live to work

We work longer hours than ever before, but it is important to have a good work/life balance in order to maintain energy levels and reduce stress.

"Start by looking at how many hours you can work, while also staying happy and healthy. If you commit to more than 55 hours a week, think carefully about it."

Take regular breaks in work and always get out of the office at lunchtime. Tackle issues with your colleagues head-on.

"Often we stay quiet to avoid conflict or opening a can of worms, but in the long run these feelings can be draining."

8. Exercise, eat well and get lots of sleep

These are things we know we should do, but we often let them lapse due to stress. The irony is that by improving all three we make ourselves more able to cope. They are the building blocks of our life and should not be neglected. Take active steps to make sure you value your health.

9. Accept that family life is fraught with difficulty

There will always be conflicts within your family, no matter how much you love them.

"With immediate family, you need to make your journey through life fun," says the author. "If there is something bothering you, talk about it. Don't use guilt trips and don't manipulate family members into doing things."

10. Make time for recreation

Recreation is always extremely beneficial, no matter what the circumstances.

"Whether you join an evening course, an exercise class, or take up bird watching -- anything that develops your learning or that interests you can be energising," she says. No matter how much you have on your plate, make time for relaxation and fun. Try to have something to look forward to at all times.

Forgiving Others Keeps Anger from Harming our Health

By Kathy Ricketts
In Daily Gazette

Several years ago, Rudy Nydegger, chief of psychology at Ellis Hospital, was working as a college dean when he thought that he and a close friend who worked as a vice president at the same college, had come to an understanding about an issue.

“Then we were together at this meeting, and he really stabbed me in the back,” Nydegger recalled.

Although Nydegger never trusted the man again, after a few weeks he went to him and said: “You’ve not offered an apology, and I’m not asking for one. I think what you did was wrong, unethical and a violation of trust. But I’ve decided I’m going to forgive you whether you offer an apology or not because I’m tired of hauling this around.”

Experts say Nydegger did the right thing.

Forgiving a friend or family member may be the last thing you feel like doing, but for the sake of your health, it’s worth considering.

Studies suggest that harboring negative thoughts and feelings may influence your psychological and physical well-being.

Need for detachment

Dr. Robert A. Weissberg, a family physician and owner of Integrative Medicine in Clifton Park, said that by holding a grudge, we are keeping our energy in the past rather than in the present, where we can do something about the situation.

“The other thing is, we are continuing to hurt ourselves by allowing the original perpetrator to hurt us, even though he may not even be on the scene or care about it anymore,” Weissberg explained.

“Forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing. It means detaching your energy from it so it no longer hurts you. It means transforming your story of victimhood into a story of heroism — that despite all that was done to you, you are surviving.”

Peter Guare, owner of Human Hyperformance, a health and fitness center in Scotia, said holding a grudge produces stress in our body that generates the fight or flight response.

“The stress response was designed to take action to fix the problem,” Guare explained. “But if you just replay the incident over and over again, you are not fixing the problem. The stress response is not meant to be a chronic condition. It is meant to be acute, and it will break your body down.”

Physical symptoms

Studies show that people who are unforgiving have elevated blood pressure and heart rates as well as increased muscle tension and feelings of being less in control. When they were asked to imagine forgiving the person who had hurt them, the participants said they felt more positive and more relaxed.

Dr. Ronald Stram, founder and director of the Center for Integrative Health and Healing in Delmar, said when people don’t forgive, it creates an adrenalin response in their body.

“That response can result in an accelerated heartbeat, shallow respirations and high blood pressure,” said Stram. “We all have a physical pain center that is attached to our emotional pain center. And they seem to get stimulated when people hold on to their anger.”

You don’t always have to work out your differences with the person to forgive, said Stram.

“Forgiveness is about the individual, not about settling your differences,” he said. “It’s about understanding that horrible things happen, but you can still forgive the person. You don’t forgive the act.”

Forgiveness is really for ourselves, added Sister Rita Jean DuBrey, director of the Center for Complementary Therapies in Amsterdam.

“From a Judeo-Christian perspective, our Lord certainly teaches us how important forgiveness is,” said DuBrey. “People do things that are very unjust and harming — but the healing, the forgiveness, is really for our own self-healing.”

Sister Jean Roche, a Sister of Mercy, who serves as campus minister at Maria College in Albany, said when you forgive people, you rid yourself of a heavy burden.

“There’s a danger of repressing anger,” said Roche. “It’s detrimental to the spirit as well, because I think anger and resentment take up space where otherwise divine energy could reside. It sort of crowds you and can leak into other relationships. You become tense and anxious, and ultimately, it is detrimental to the body and can cause illness.”

Forgiveness can be learned

“Forgiveness is a process,” said Roche. “Each time you forgive, you forgive at a deeper level. You get some insights into the situation, and ultimately, you may look back on it and see an immense amount of growth and insight. But unless you process those feelings and accept them nonjudgmentally, the anger is going to reside there on some level.”

Forgiveness doesn’t always mean you forget the incident and reconcile with the person who wronged you.

“I guess I’m inclined to believe if you forget, you miss the lesson learned,” said Roche. “Maybe you can distance yourself from the pain and remember the lesson.”

Looking at a situation and deciding that you are tired of hauling around negative feelings about the incident allows you closure, said Nydegger.

Avoiding family feuds

“I’ve seen families torn apart forever because of someone’s unwillingness to either apologize or to forgive,” he said.

The best way to teach children to forgive is for their parents to show them.

“If we want our kids to become reasonable, forgiving people, then we need to be the ones to demonstrate how that is done,” said Nydegger.

After Nydegger forgave the college vice president, the man, embarrassed, did apologize.

“But frankly I didn’t do it to be noble,” Nydegger admitted. “I was just tired of feeling bad about it.”

Learning how

Experts say there are several methods for learning how to forgive someone who has hurt you.

- Try to look at the situation from the other’s person’s point of view. Often, their behavior is more about who they are instead of who you are.

- Let them know how you feel in a nonconfrontational way. Some people have no idea they did anything wrong or why you are angry at them, and when you tell them, they are quick to apologize.

- Realize the issue is in the past and that it will never change, so you don’t have to keep replaying it over. Revisiting it will keep you stuck in the past and prevent your own progress.

- Write down all the thoughts that make you angry. Imagine where the tension is in your body, and allow yourself to let it go.

- Don’t deny the feelings. Talk to a spiritual adviser or counselor about the incident and make peace in your heart.

- Try drawing pictures that illustrate what you are feeling. You can keep them or throw them away.

- Imagine yourself forgiving the person and sending them blessings or gratitude for what you have learned.

- Dig a hole in the ground and bury all of your anger, resentments and judgments against yourself and others.

- Accept that until you forgive and move on, the incident will control your life. Staying stuck will most likely do much more damage to you than the original incident. While you can’t always control what happens, you can control how you respond.

Sometimes, you have to forgive more than once, added DuBrey.

“It isn’t a one-step deal,” she said. “We are all broken in this life. Forgiving is a process.”

In this Life, You Have a Chance to Take Stock

By Rich Brooks
In Herald Tribune

How do you know it's time to go?

In this case, "go" is a euphemism for death.

There are plenty of euphemisms for death. That's probably because talk about the end of life is uncomfortable. Euphemisms such as "kicked the bucket" and "bought the farm" help us cope with the inevitable.

Getting back to the original question, though: Are there signs or signals, like looking at the third base coach for the "steal" sign?

If that's the case, then did I miss it?

Maybe it's like the two-minute warning in football.

You'd see the clouds part, then St. Michael the Archangel would announce in a voice that sounds much like Charlton Heston, "two minutes. You have two minutes to put your affairs in order. This is your only warning." (Apologies to Bill Cosby for that.)

Like many people with ALS, I've been reviewing my commitments to those I love.

That's a euphemism for thinking about death. But, make no mistake about it, my commitment is to life.

I don't have a plan for my funeral, which should be something fitting for any head of state or dignitary.

Reviewing one's commitments should be part of one's routine, sort of like an annual review for your spirit without the raise or the angst. Call it a spiritual report card.

This is not a "one size fits all" exercise. And self-awareness is the key.

Here are some of the questions I ask myself:

Have I treated others with respect and dignity?

Respect for others reflects how you perceive yourself. Self-respect is a byproduct of self-awareness. If you don't know yourself, how can you respect yourself? And without self-respect, how can you respect others? How can others respect you?

Everyone deserves respect.

Tolerance is also part of my spiritual scorecard. Tolerance is part of what makes the United States so great. Religious tolerance is among the most important of our ideals. Without that guiding light we risk becoming a religious state governed not by laws but the whims of church leaders.

Tolerance extends beyond religion, and reaches into the core of our being, and fighting it seems to go against everything we know. From a young age we play with those who share our background and are suspicious of others. My son, for example, makes fun of anything, or anyone, French. He dismisses the French contributions to our culture and the cause of freedom. I hope he outgrows his myopic view.

Have I missed the sign that says exit now? I don't think so. I don't believe in pre-destiny. When I die it's because I choose to go.